But Peter insisted emphatically, "Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you." And all the others said the same.
Mark 14:31

There is no doubt, in my mind, that Peter really meant the words "I will never disown you" when he said them. He felt every bit as loyal and true to his Lord as he ever did, I'm sure. Yet, we know that Peter did, in fact, disown Jesus. And, not just once; no, he disowned him three times. That's three seperate decisions to not honor his commitment. That's three seperate chances to do the right thing. The immense weight of failure and self-loathing on Peter's shoulders must have been absolutely crushing.

The world is full of the consequences of broken vows, failed obligations and unkept promises. It would be difficult to find a person who has not been on at least one side of that tragic equation. Most of us, I dare say, are familiar with both roles. And in producing the thought, we are sharply reminded of our condition: Humanity.

Consider, for a moment: There are few, in the world, who can punish us as mercilessly and ceaselessly as we can punish ourselves. We chain ourselves to the immoveable ziggurat of shame and self-condemnation, cutting off access to any hope for joy or restoration. We linger, holding on to our transgressions long after everyone else involved has found peace and moved on. This is a trap of exquisite design for which there is no equal: to cause us to destroy oursleves in isolation...slowly...as we sink ever deeper in the stagnant waters of bitterness and regret.

Peter must have felt this way. He disowned his Lord and friend when Jesus needed him the most. He chose poorly. And what would others say when they found out? Peter was a conspicuous, outspoken minister. He was with Jesus all the time. What now? He was finished. How could he ever recover from this?

Of course, we know that Jesus forgave Peter. In fact, not only did he forgive him, but he restored his self-worth in the process, by telling him to take care of Jesus' sheep. This is the power of genuine grace; a life restored to a state that exceeds it's prior potential.

When Jesus and Peter first met, Jesus said "Follow me". It is interesting that, when Jesus forgave Peter later, he said those words again, bringing those two points in time together, disregarding his prior transgressions.

This, in turn, is what Jesus does for us; returning us to that moment when we first believed...he takes our contrition and humility and turns it into potential. He is always willing to say "Follow me" as many times as it takes. We must simply be willing to quit condemning ourselves long enough to listen.